I just concluded my weekend run. I am not a very accomplished runner, but there is no other exercise that gives me such a strong sense of well-being upon completion. I am not sure if this is due to what many call a “runners high” with an associated release of naturally generated caninoids, endorphins, or whatever other theory you may choose to explain it. Regardless, the result is terrific. My runs usually start with a lot of chaotic thoughts, often quite fuming in character as I “blow off steam” from my work week. After a mile or two, I find a cadence in my stride and my thinking is often drawn to a specific question or challenge I had considered earlier in the week but did not resolve.
This week, it was all about my observations that here in Silicon Valley, work related messages directed to work colleagues or other stakeholders, via phone or email, often go unanswered. The collective tendency here in this workplace is to write this unresponsive behavior off – “well they must be busy” which makes me counter in my head, “But who’s not?”
By the way, I am not alone on this observation of poor response courtesy. My wife, a busy technology executive, observes this in spades during her work day and we often commiserate about it when recapping our day over dinner. Perhaps our sensitivity to this kind of behavior stems from the very different culture we recently experienced in Brazil where we had spent almost three years. There interpersonal exchanges are prized and drive time management. I fondly recall how I could leave a voice message or email an inquiry and was almost guaranteed a quick reply, often with an attentive, helpful conversation. This of course, is in direct contrast to our characteristically anxious and chronologically brief communication norms here.
As I ran this morning and considered all this, my head turned to human motivation theory and the question, “why do we think we are so busy here that we cannot be responsive to our work colleagues? Are our non-human exchanges, often with a digital screen, so demanding that we cannot manage our time and carve out some for respectful response to those around us? Could that be true? That here in Silicon Valley, we, the captains of the technology world with all our apps, are victims to our personal time management and cannot prioritize and engage with those who are instrumental in realizing our work objectives and long-term success?
We certainly behave this way, far too often prioritizing isolating short-term projects and tasks at the expense of meaningful communication that serves our longer term business needs and personal happiness. We are missing the opportunity to deeply enhance our social work network, something we will be participating in long after any one strategy or product idea becomes outdated. When I consider this from the framework of human social needs our behavior is unhealthy. We are prioritizing our need for control while neglecting our need for sound human attachment. Put simply, we’re catering to the anxiety created by operating in our hyper, self-perpetuating, competitive environment and neglecting higher level expressions of being respectful, responsive and deliberate with each other. The more we revert to isolating ourselves and limiting our human contact with our noses in our screens, we end up substituting substantive communication with less effective, virtual bantering. While this alleviates our busy day anxiety through this sense of greater control, it removes the rich human exchanges for which we are built. And it is from these interactions that we can collectively craft exceptional business solutions that reward all stakeholders. Now, I get that such exchanges can be emotionally messy and more time consuming, and I don’t want to imply they are always easy. However, I do suggest they are more successful in serving our personal and organizational social needs, something that really should be the ultimate objective of our work output.
I may ponder this in more depth by diving deeper into theory during my next run. In the meantime, I am going to make a point to engage with others in my workplace based on how our biology is best served by being responsive and timely in my communication.
Inevitably, this may read like nonsense to some because you are too “busy”. You may find yourself defending the practice of delaying, or even, ignoring work-related stakeholder inquires. If that is where you find your head leading you here, let me default to that old question: “What would your grandmother think of your behavior?” And, perhaps, you could try an experiment where you intentionally make a point of responding to your work ecosystem within 24-hours for one week. By exploring such a practice, I suspect your results will yield a richer, more connected human character to your work. I also bet you will find your job-related goals being achieved more effectively.
I would welcome your feedback. And if you are inclined, rather than answer here in print, give me a call at +1.650.656.1864. I would enjoy the exchange.
Best, Dana
